Knockwood:
Reading Knockwood's Chapter 2, I can't help but feel completely drained, agitated and uncomfortable. I know that these topics, Residential Schools and the effects of Canadian Government policy and Catholic Church intervention, are horrific, and that learning about them won't be something enjoyable or nice, but still, I feel stretched thin, and the more I read, the more I feel myself screaming out for release or distraction. So I read a page or two, and stop. I let certain emotions and thoughts take hold of me for a moment, feel the tension rise up in my chest, and then I exhale loudly, deliberately, slowly, and take my mind somewhere else. It's too heavy. It's been too much exposure, too much pain to soak in these past two months. I've tried to expose myself to the realities of the past, to educate myself, become aware of the people and their suffering who went through this terrifying experience, but at the same time, it's slowly but surely worn me down. I don't mean this to sound like a criticism of the material or of our duty to educate ourselves. What I mean is that, throughout this teacher education program, we've mostly been on this 'empowering teaching high', where we've been learning new techniques, styles and methods of becoming better teachers. And I know a lot of that is hyped up, and the reality of teaching isn't always so rosy. We're also faced in the Urban Education program with a lot of harsh realities. Poverty, hunger, domestic issues, and everything else that factors into the daily realities of intercity kids. It's a lot to take in, but at least in that sense, we are arming ourselves to try and help them, to be aware of their situations and find ways to help them succeed in life. This however, is different. Perhaps its the guilt and shame that accompanies reading these kinds of personal accounts. Perhaps its the knowledge that there is so much still wrong with the system, and we are not addressing those needs. Or maybe even more discouraging to me, is that there are a lot of Canadians who either don't know about these events, or would rather remain ignorant, and actively dismiss them. Stereotypes, racial comments and ignorance abound in our supposedly 'enlightened' and 'egalitarian' society. I would like to say that I'm no stranger to reading sensitive material and controversial historical events. Through my undergraduate degree, I focused on Holocaust studies, and being confronted with those realities was shocking and harrowing, however, in that case, there was a sense of evil that allowed one to grapple with what happened. It was so brutal, so calculated, so despicable, that you could identify it, condemn it, and carry on knowing that people were doing everything they could to atone for those sins, and to make sure they never happened again. It didn't make any of it acceptable, but it made it comprehensible. This time however, there is too much denial, too much misinformation, and too much indifference. That is probably what I am having the hardest time dealing with. One of the moments which struck me the most from the Walking With Oour Sisters event I attended, was how similar the vamps were to the official coat of arms and shields on our provincial flags. It saddened me to think that our flags don't even represent the First Nations people who's land we live on, yet we treat our symbols and icons with such reverence and respect. I thought it would be such a good idea to change the Ontario flag to reflect our Indigenous and First Nations communities and replace elements of the flag which although proud for some people, have such negative connotations for so many others. The real underlying sickness in this Knockwood's story is not the horrific details, like the prison garb, the priests and sisters eating lavish meals while the children subsided on rotten potatoes, or even the beatings and physical trauma. The real sickness is that underneath all that is the sense of superiority, of intelligence and righteousness that pervades the 'Western Christian' mentality. The idea that they knew best, that they would save the souls of these children, and tear them away from savagery and barbarism. What scares me more is how much of that sentiment persists. How much of that outmoded, ignorant “We know better” attitude continues without people even knowing. I'm sure a lot of the people involved in residential schools really wanted to do good, and believed in their religious doctrines, but seeing them degrade to forcing a child to eat salted food until he throws up repeatedly, or beating other children to instill fear and order, those are unforgivable abuses of power. The only way I can read these stories and memoirs and feel something constructive, something positive, something to take away, is to acknowledge the spirit and resilience of those children. Even now, as some write and reflect years later, they look back upon their experiences as things to move on from, not to dwell in anger and frustration in. Even considering how horrific their childhoods became, there isn't an overpowering sense of revenge or retribution. They are saddened and confused why this needed to happen, but not poisoned by the events themselves. Even while their culture, language and identity was striped from them, their resilience and strength is remarkable. I felt that same power and energy from the women in the Walking With Our Sisters experience. Battiste: The reading from Battiste was the perfect companion piece to Knockwood's chapter, as it related issues in Indigenous relations, history and treatment to the state of education and popular perception within Canada at present. There was A LOT of information to digest, but a lot of it was incredibly insightful, illustrating the weaknesses and pitfalls of our current modern curriculum and mindset, which pervades and influences all aspects of our lives. One of the key ideas was education as the central matrix for undoing so much of the damage created by our Eurocentric society to Indigenous societies in Canada. This seems to be an increasingly difficult thing to do however, as Battiste points out, so many different aspects of our society are reflections of our Western mindset. Battiste points to the values we espouse in education, this meritocracy we uphold as the gold standard, and the consumerist world we later enter into, as crucial problems that Indigenous based education must combat. While I agree with the need for educational reform at the most basic and fundamental levels, addressing the very purpose and drive for education and knowledge, I wonder how do we change the bias that exists in our society and culture at large? This goes beyond simply negative stereotypes and challenges facing First Nations people, what I am talking about is the god like status our society has given to reason and logic. Those are, despite how our education system molds us, contrary principles to many of the teachings we should be encouraging. This can be thought of in terms of what kind of life is better? A holistic one, centered and based around community and relationships, or one driven by success, productivity and maximizing our potential? Those two shouldn't be mutualy exclusive choices, however our society has made them out to be. In order to “succeed” most people think it right, and often commendable, to sacrifice other valuable parts of our lives. Right now our lives are driven by desires, personal goals and vanity. And our culture places those on pedestals. Celebrity lifestyles, branding and social perception are the most valued commodities in today's world. How can we expect our education system to enact real change, to move beyond superficial goals, when the world we live in doesn't demand the same reform? A n enlightening point Battiste made which summarizes all of this was: “The assumptions are no longer formally acknowledged but still influence contemporary policies and modern variants.” and “[...] education theory has to confront the line between truth and propaganda.” For me, these identify the need for a real paradigm shift, in our approach to Indigenous peoples and relations, as well as societal values. I love books like Wade Davis' “The Wayfinders” which highlight and exemplify the knowledge and wisdom Indigenous cultures around the world can teach us, and how so called “primitive cultures” can be so far advanced morally and ethically over our Western lifestyle. Coupled with books like “Voltaire's Bastards” exposing the cult of reason we live in, it feels like there is soo much around us to change and tear down. I guess the entire thing falls into a kind of catch-22 however; do we start by changing the education and how we teach? Or does society and our values need to change first, so that our teachings can follow them? Ayers Chapter 4: Building bridges This was the most interesting chapter in Ayers so far (which just means it was really REALLY good). While like most points in Ayers graphic novel, it seems like very happy-go-lucky, optimistic, new age advice, however this time, I felt Ayers was moving more towards concrete examples of how to improve teaching. While the example of the class collaborating to build the turtles ramp is a wonderful example and metaphor for the entire process, I was much more interested in his sons quest for meaning as he entered adulthood. I'm not afraid to admit that I am not religious in any way, and often have great difficulty seeing the benefits in organized religions. While I believe religious ideas can be beneficial for people, I've always fought against organized religion and its need to assert power and dominance. However, I believe that what our secular society is missing more than anything, is meaningful ceremonies and rituals which bring a sense of community, importance and sanctity to events and life. I thought this idea of developing your own rite of passage was really ingenious and how beneficial and educational it would be. This should also be incorporated at a smaller level into the daily routine of education. From what I can tell, there seems to have been a move away from large group activities, celebrations or ceremonies at schools, and often the focus is solely on academics and some sporting events. I believe that similar to this coming of age quest, if students participated in more rituals that involved them, made their experiences important and created a sense of belonging, they would value education, school and learning a lot more. It's no secret that people who are engaged with a sense of purpose, accompanied with a sense of communal responsibility, take greater pride and onus for whatever they are involved in. Creating that sense of belonging and passion is what teaching should be about. Another point I latched onto from Ayers, which wasn't expressly shown in the comic, was that while some bridges need to be built, some may also need to be metaphorically broken down. What I mean is that we have certain predetermined or common ways of thinking, acting, or solving problems. We rely on established norms, finding comfort in repetition or so called “common sense”. However, where real innovation and discovery happens is when we challenge those norms, or simply evolve our way of thinking to something new. In a sense, this is what Ayers suggests we do, break out of the established bridges that link teachers to students, or curriculum to knowledge, and create new ones which develop education in a new, refreshing and productive way. Finally, I'll simply end of on a poem I remember from a memorable experience I had in my undergrad, which aptly enough was called: The Bridge Builder BY WILL ALLEN DROMGOOLE An old man going a lone highway, Came, at the evening cold and gray, To a chasm vast and deep and wide. Through which was flowing a sullen tide The old man crossed in the twilight dim, The sullen stream had no fear for him; But he turned when safe on the other side And built a bridge to span the tide. “Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near, “You are wasting your strength with building here; Your journey will end with the ending day, You never again will pass this way; You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide, Why build this bridge at evening tide?” The builder lifted his old gray head; “Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said, “There followed after me to-day A youth whose feet must pass this way. This chasm that has been as naught to me To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be; He, too, must cross in the twilight dim; Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!” What I loved about this poem, not only for the obvious reasons of helping others and leaving a lasting legacy rather than simply living for oneself, is that the old man is at the end of his life, about to die. This is poignant because it is often only when it is too late that we reflect on the value of life and what we've accomplished or regretted. This was a reminder to me, even as I was entering University and feeling on top of the world, of the fragility of it all, and how we should act and live in a way which creates a lasting legacy of happiness or love, something that builds towards the future, rather than focusing on arriving at a destination. This reminded me of my grandparents, poor immigrants to Canada, who through hard work and sacrifice provided for their family and flourished. They've never had a vacation, never treated themselves to a meal in a restaurant, because for them, saving and guaranteeing the well being of their family was everything. If we all lived a little more in that world, of caring for others before ourselves, we wouldn't be in the mess we are in today. Alright, I'll stop myself before getting stuck on my soap-box, and leave it at that. Thank you for reading,
1 Comment
11/1/2015 11:07:53 am
Thank you for this. I enjoy the honesty and struggle you share in your posts. It is heavy. I have been feeling quite weighted by it all and wrestle with how it is impacting you and others. Teaching and learning are so very complex and these stories inform how we work within this profession and respond to the students/colleagues/parents whose lives intersect with our own. I hope it will give us pause and make us challenge some of the practices that continue to be standards in schools (for me this means homework, detention, reward charts, etc but we all have our own list)- we need to acknowledge the 'hidden' curriculum and consider what we do as teachers to reinforce or peel back the layers.... These past months have challenged me more than I would have thought and I am enjoying learning with you.
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